Being single makes for some really memorable conversations. I am only logging parts of these conversations with people because they made me laugh/smile from my heart.
he said, "Would you fly down if I need you to?"
she said, "Yes. Just tell me when and I'll work it out."
he said, "I'm thinking about visiting you."
she said, "When?"
he said, "First week October."
she said, "You have a place wherever in the world I am. You are always welcomed."
he said, "I think my officer is trying to find a reason to say no."
she said, "Show him a picture of me."
he said, "You need to wear a pencil skirt, blouse, 2" heels and stand in a very conservative pose."
she said, "Is that his thing?"
he said, "I don't know. But I don't think bad ass is the solution here."
he said, "You're coming here?"
she said, "Maybe."
he said, "I'll take maybe."
she said, "You're stoked on maybe?"
he said, "You have no idea. Maybe makes me very happy. I'm already excited."
she said, "Don't get too excited. Nothing's confirmed yet."
he said, "You should get excited. Imagine all the things we can do with your car."
she said, "Oh! My car!"
he said, "Yes your car!"
she said, "Ok, you've got me on the excited wagon."
he said, "Now we've gotta get you on the excited to see me wagon."
she said, "It needs assembling."
he said, "I'll assemble. You just need to hop on it."
he said, "You should visit me."
she said, "I plan to take full advantage of it while you live there."
he said, "Do you know when you're coming?"
she said, "What do you recommend?"
he said, "Hmm, next year in June or September. If you want to see Paris, come in July. I've got a flat there, and I'll be there."
she said, "Ok! Deal."
he said, "I've gotta find a girl like you."
she said, "I've gotta find a guy like you."
he said, "Do you want to meet up for coffee now?" (It's 1.30AM)
she said, "Sure why not? I'm about to go to bed."
he said, "I pick you up? Or meet up?"
she said, "I'll drive. Come pick you up."
he said, "Ok."
he said, "I'll cook anything you make."
she said, "You're going to starve. I don't cook."
he said, "You should make me something."
she said, "Still, not going to happen."
he said, "I can't believe you said yes to doing coffee with me."
she said, "You've just been asking the wrong girls. And I'm in the yes mood in life, I think it's because I'm single."
he said, "You asked me out first."
she said, "Yeah so?"
he said, "I've had girls say they'll make the first move. But I've never seen it happen before."
she said, "I spend my every waking moment, making the first move. I think I'd like a guy to make the first move next time."
he said, "Against my better judgement, I'm going to say I miss you."
she said, "You should listen to your better judgement."
he said, "Really?"
she said, "Yeah. I hope you're not disappointed that I'm not missing you."
he said, "You're the boss."
she said, "I'm always the boss."
he said, "As am I."
she said, "We need to take turns."
he said, "Ok. Ladies first."
he said, "I wouldn't mind spending downtime with you."
she said, "As long as you don't mind doing all the talking. I'll try to listen"
he said, "I think you'll be talking too. So far, I can't get you to shut up."
she said, "haha, I think you have a valid point."
he said, "See, we're getting along just fine."
he said, "You should come take a ride with me sometime."
she said, "Don't take this the wrong way, but I will never ever EVER get into a Honda or Acura, ever."
he said, "Alright. That's cool."
he said, "I think you're pretty."
she said, "Why do you only like Asians?"
he said, "Because they're sexier."
she said, "Best answer I've heard to that question. You win."
he said, "Are my hands rough?"
she said, "No. I don't mind them."
he said, "Ok. Cool."
he said, "I'm painting over your Calgary Tower mural."
she said, "You mean the part where I wasn't tall enough to reach?"
he said, "Yes. The mushroom-looking building that you tried to paint."
she said, "Yes, you should cover that. It's evidence that I am an awful painter, and will never get paid to do this ever."
he said, "Why? What did I do?"
she said nothing, hands over her eyes, laughing out loud.
he said, "Oh no, do I remind you of your ex?"
she said, "To a tee, it's almost kinda crazy. But, thank goodness you like travelling cos then I'd really be shitting a brick."
he said, "f-."
she said, "You want to swear?"
he said, "Yeah."
she said, "I appreciate that you're making effort not to."
he said, "I'm trying."
she said, "The fact that you're trying makes you cuter."
he said, "I got pulled over."
she said, "What did you do?"
he said, "30 over."
she said, "Scanner didn't pick up the radar?"
he said, "No radar. He followed me."
she said, "Ghost car?"
he said, "No X_X"
she said, "HAHAHAHAHA."
he said, "Don't laugh."
she said, "DOUBLE HAHAHAHAA. Guess we're going to have to be low key tomorrow when cruising."
he said, "Yeah, we'll see how well that goes."
he said, "I think the next time we meet, I'm going to have to steal a kiss from you."
she said, "I think that is a good idea."
he said, "I think it's a good idea too. I'm such a thinker."
warning: high spending alert.
Q: are you ready to date again?
I don't keep track off how many days has passed, or keep tabs on how many things you've done right or wrong since we first met 4 years ago. Word has finally spread that we're over so they don't mention you around me anymore which I appreciate. Some people ask me, "when did you guys split?". My response is along the lines of, "a while ago. I don't know, sometime in the summer before my solo trip to Japan which was awesome and I got to be made up as a GEISHA!" Then we move onto how awesome it is to be made up as a geisha.
I'm writing today because I want to track my progress. Progress has to be accounted for; it is the evidence that one is moving forward.
I put myself out there, got 18 new digits in my phone. Started talking more to strangers, smiled more. I've taken up new activities (i.e. hiking/scrambling in the Rockies). I've gotten fitter, leaner, and feeling much more beautiful. Met up with some single boys since, some a couple times more than others. Been asked if I wanted to date them by a couple friends (who were serious and not at the same time I hope). Changed up my wardrobe (manager asked me, "are you trying to buy yourself out of misery, Val?" I replied, "hell yes. this is going to be me in NYC. fabulous, fashionable and single.") - definitely got a little more bad-ass and blew my pay-check on beautiful staples. Decided that as a milestone gift to myself this year would be to deconstruct and reconstruct my life, starting with an investment of 14K going towards my big bucket list.
A: (pause). I'd like to, and I am putting myself out there. But no, I know I'm not ready because there are times when I'm by myself and I start to cry. I'll get there.
feeling freed, and taking the time to cut the 'fat' in life.
i made the call at 2AM.
stick around because you care about me, not because you find the show interesting.
Q: are you sure you want to remove the items from the Trash permanently?
note: you cannot undo this action.
it's easy to delete things from your computer's hard drive or your phone's memory. it's just as easy to throw out all the things that you don't want to keep. the trash bin is right there in your backyard, and the trash is picked up by the garbage company every tuesday and it disappears permanently into some landfill in the middle of nowhere.
when you click and drag the files to trash, do you think about maybe one day wanting to see these files again? i did. and i still clicked and dragged the files to trash.
does it mean anything? i don't think so. and if it did, maybe it meant that i knew back then that i didn't want my future self to be looking back at the moment and re-working the digits in my head, wracking my brain or myself to figure out why we didn't work out.
it is what it is.
we didn't work out.
the world kept spinning on.
A: click yes.
To reopen my blog.
Or not.
That is the question.
How much do you really want to know?
That is the other question.
