Saturday, July 21, 2007
Q: why are we friends with not-so-good people?
it's not within the last 2 nights that i've come to know not-so-good people. what has happened in the past 2 days isn't the reason why i'm writing this post. nor the past 2 weeks.
fact is i've grown up with not-so-good people, that is the reason why i'm writing this post. (anyone who can swear that they've never crossed paths with temptation, or hung out with people your mom would never want you socialise with, is not human) i've grown up with people who lie. who cheat. who steal. who aren't really real about who they are. who pretend to be other people. who wished they could take their own life. people who are, afterall, people.
i look at these people, and have conversation with them, have suppers with them, shop with them, laugh with them, grow up with them. i have seen them eye-to-eye, no man bigger nor smaller than the other. i trust them, those not-so-good people. though i sometimes may be disappointed by them, i trust them because i don't give up on them. and i have no intentions of deserting them.
someone once told me that our capacity to care for people, our "emotional-tank", has a fixed amount - no more no less. you can't keep caring and giving, because eventually you will have nothing left for yourself.
mathematically, it would look like this:
- at sunrise, val's emotional tank: 100 ET points.
8am, val receives a distress call from boy friend who's broken up with girlfriend
val gives away 13 ETs, and 1hr of her time / remainder: 87 ETs.
12pm, val meets with a girlfriend for lunch. girlfriend's family situation is strained
val shares 27 ETs / remainder: 60 ETs
2pm, val gives a call to check up on post-breakup boy friend, situation not looking good
val forks out 24 ETs / remainder: 36 ETs
7pm, val does dinner with friends
val pools 18 ETs for a barrell of laughs / remainder 18 ETs
and by the time val hits the sack, she has exhausted her emotional tank.
you have to be selective with who you care for. only your closest friends can get your attention. only the good people should get your attention.
i got upset with the person who conceptualised this theory, and i never really explained why i raised my voice at him.
what if, WHAT IF, your closest friends aren't good people? what do we do then? what DO we do?
A: not-so-good people need friends too. especially people who don't give up on them.
mood:
